Monday, March 24, 2008
{ 6:56 AM }
seriously that thing is affecting me very deeply, in a bad way. i've got the urge to rush up to you and say whatever that is on my mind right now. i cant carry on like this. on my way back home today, i sat on the bus and comtemplated. it was a really long thought. i wonder what i have i done to deserve what you are doing now. man..i tell you, it doesnt really matter to me that much, what you feel and how you responded to me because i feel that i dont live for you.
all of a sudden, today i felt so vulnurable. felt so helpless. there's so much thing coming and i cant cope with everything. why that rush? i felt like i needed another shoulder to help me carry this weight. i had that sudden rush to see my old friends again. i miss them. it's so different here. but yet again, i'm thankful for the people here. if you've been always supporting me, i thank you again. i've got to learn to be thankful for even the smallest thing. when i look up at that blue sky and take a deep breath, i feel like there's much more to life than what i'm doing right now. shi jie zhe me da, wo tai miao xiao le.
why is it always raining on me? no, i'll not let that rain pour on me anymore. this time, i'll open the umbrella. no matter how heavy the rain is, i'm sure i can survive. will you be there for me? even if you aint there, i know i'm always there for myself. and this is all that mattered.